This week my world was rocked with the news that the sweet baby I am carrying is a girl baby! Almost immediately, my mind went into a state of pink. It is crazy the amount of ease with which my mind suddenly started filtering in pink. Pink, pink, pink. In no time at all I had a dream nursery set up in my mind complete with, you guessed it, lots of pink.
When I finally came down from my pink, sparkly high, I was inundated with lots of other thoughts, and these were less cute and cuddly than the first set. Thoughts like, “How will I be able to handle a girl after mothering boys for so long?” or “Oh no! There will be a little girl in this house who will be looking to ME as an example!” Suddenly, I was feeling a little less giddy and a lot more intimidated.
It’s funny because I’ve basically given my life to women’s ministry. I lead ladies in Bible study each week, I counsel women one-on-one, and I write many of my blogs with women in mind. And yet the thought of mothering a daughter is so daunting, because there is no room to pretend when it comes to your own child. This precious little girl is going to see me day in and day out. She, unlike those I come across only in a ministry basis, will know that her momma is so far from perfect that it’s a joke. She will look at me, see my actions, my reactions, and observe me accordingly.
I can honestly say that the thought of mothering a daughter may be the biggest wake up call to my daily faith that I’ve ever had. What does it mean to live a life that reflects Christ? How can I show that I may not be perfect but my heart always seeks to please God? What does it mean to be a woman of God in this world? Wow.
My prayer is that God will guide me and help me to raise this baby to become a woman who seeks above all else to please her Father. I know that the only way I’ll be able to do this is through the Holy Spirit’s guidance and control. On my own, I can be messy. With God’s help, though, I hope to be able to watch this little girl turn into a strong, beautiful woman of God. It’s my honor to be this girl’s momma.