Voice Sifting: Who Gets A Voice In My Life

 In social media

I was already hungry, so getting an accusatory social media message did little to improve my mood.

A person I don’t know incredibly well messaged me in response to a picture I posted, accusing me of something. Yes, I’m being vague. The details don’t matter because this isn’t just about a single event. Lately, and more than ever, it seems that people feel complete freedom to act as a voice in our lives, even when they have no such place otherwise.

What do I mean?

Many people have access to us because of social media, but few have been given permission or blessing by us to be a voice.

Do you understand the difference?

Voices of influence are necessary and Biblical. I have people around me that I’ve asked to keep me accountable on certain issues. I have friends that I bare my soul to about hurt and with complete vulnerability. I have a husband that is my deepest confidant. All of these people (plus family and trusted counselors) have been given a place to speak into my life, so when they talk, l listen. They are voices in my life.

So back to that social media message. I felt wounded by this person’s accusations until I realized I had allowed that wound. No one is allowed to speak words that can cause us pain  if we don’t give their voice power in the first place.

Social media may have let hundreds of new voices feel as if they have a place in our lives, but we are the ones who set the parameters for which of those voices are allowed to count. This may sound harsh but it’s actually meant to be the opposite of that – freedom for those of us affected by these situations.

It is imperative that we stop allowing everyone who can reach us to reach us – mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

Start by deciding who has a voice in your life. While the point of this blog has been a sifting of too many voices, it’s a certain reality that some may actually need more voices. If you feel like you have no one to run things by, no one to tell you the truth in love, take stock and prayerfully ask a few people to be that for you. I have my husband, 2-3 select friends, a counselor, a few mentors and maybe 2 family members who get to be a voice for me.

Once you clearly define who your voices are, find freedom in releasing the power of voices outside of that circle. There’s no magic formula that makes harsh words and accusations stop hurting, but we will find more contentment when we define who our voices are, knowing that people outside of that don’t have to carry such a weight in our reality.


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