Confessions: Mom Guilt
This week in our Bible study, the topic of mom guilt seemed to permeate all veins of conversation. It was odd, too, because I don’t think any of us set out to mention the fact that we were dealing with an influx of mommy angst, but it was as if we couldn’t control the words from pouring out of our mouths. One by one we’d share how we were struggling with the idea that we just weren’t hitting the mark as moms.
A common thread seemed to be the fear that we aren’t doing enough, or, on the flip side, that we’re doing too much. Do I spend enough time with my kids? can be just as easily overrun by the idea that the time I do spend with my kids is time in which I’m doing damage to them on some level. Will some hasty word I’ve spoken in a moment of temporary frustration wind up affecting their futures as adults?
The world is tough on women. We’re constantly being shown models with flawless figures in a pressuring move to make us feel as if we should look like that in order to be desirable. On the flip side, our own social media habits have brought the comparison game into our roles as mothers and wives. We see the 3-course dinner that the wife down the street cooked, and we cower in shame behind our paltry offering of frozen lasagna. We feel like we’re not “enough” on so many levels.
This isn’t a pity post for women. On the contrary, it’s a wake up call for those of us who are simmering in our mommy guilt. We can’t do it all if all means we cook the perfect meal with the perfect figure for the perfectly behaved children. But you know what we can do? Love our children like no one else on this earth. Why? Because we’re their moms!
Love is amazing in that it overcomes so many other deficiencies. So no, my kids may not always get the shiny mom who places gourmet meals in front of them nightly as she glides through the kitchen in her heels and evening gown, but they do get a mom who loves them unconditionally. It is my belief and hope that with my children feeling loved, it will be that presence that stays with them in their memories, and not the low points that I’d rather wipe from my mom memoirs.
Today, be encouraged. If you love your kids, you are doing enough. You are a good mom.