Letting God Be Near

I’ve had a big realization this morning. It’s not a fun, happy realization, either. It’s painful to admit and hurts to amend, and yet, that does nothing to take away from it’s truth. What did I realize?

We can use our pain as a shield to keep us from the God whom we’re also in desperate need to feel.

I’ve been doing this lately and I realize I am worse off for it. I’ve used my pain as an excuse to stay away from God, when He’s the one I need most right now. I’ve been simultaneously yearning for healing and keeping my distance from God, and frustrated by the sense of emptiness I feel as a result. Right now I’m hurt and I’m angry, but at the end of the day, I realize that staying away from God doesn’t help that. In fact, it does the exact opposite – it makes my need and lack that much more glaring and obvious, and incites feelings of isolation and hopelessness.

I can get so focused on my pain, that I forget God’s goodness, and I want to start remedying that today. My God is the same God who walked me through my journey with cancer with the utmost care and gentility. He’s the God that gave me two healthy, beautiful sons who light up my days with joy. He’s the God who has kept me sane with His love, grace, and surety. He is everything to me.

Maybe today you’ve realized that your shield is up and you’ve been keeping yourself from the help that you need the most. It’s ironic how our bodies and minds will go into overdrive to try to “protect” us, and yet, wind up hurting us more when they shield our broken hearts from the only One who can truly heal them. It’s scary, but really, you have nothing to lose. Draw close to Him and let Him heal you with His mere proximity.